Word Play
by CuteCat213
Summary: Remarkable: worthy of attention; striking. L bit his thumb and watched Light. His boyfriend certainly was striking. And he was sure Light wouldn't mind; there had to be at least six other things more creepy than watching his boyfriend sleep and tying to think of words to describe it. AU-ish, LightxL, LxLight, drabble-ish.
1. Chapter 1

"Remarkable..."

Ever wary and easily awakened even in the depths of sleep, Light blinked open his eyes blearily, spotting L's crouched form on the chair next to the bed. His voice was scratchy from sleep, "What's remarkable?"

L bit the side of his thumb, "Nothing. Nothing is remarkable at all. Or everything is."

"...What?" It was -Light checked- three in the morning, _he_ , for one, wasn't used to running on a lack of sleep, and he had been forced to do just that since his boyfriend was a severe sugar addict he was forcing to break the habit. He figured he could _probably_ be forgiven for not being at his very best.

"Remarkable... What is the definition of the word?"

Sighing, Light pushed up, and raked a hand through his hair as he did so, wiping the sleep from his eyes, "Uh... 'worthy of attention; striking'."

L bit his thumb harder and Light reached out so he wouldn't bloody himself in his craving for sugar, the chain between them connecting their wrists jangling slightly as he did, but he couldn't trust L not to go looking for a sugar fix when he was sleeping otherwise.

Eyes as dark as an abyss looked over to him, "What else does it mean?"

Light blew at his bangs as he kick-started his brain, "Ahhh." He took a deep breath, "Extraordinary, exceptional, amazing, astonishing, astounding, marvelous, wonderful, sensational, stunning, incredible, unbelievable, phenomenal, outstanding, momentous; out of the ordinary, unusual, uncommon, unique, surprising; fantastic, terrific, tremendous, stupendous, awesome; wondrous. There might be a few more, but that's all I have at the moment. It's an adjective; a modifier, just like 'very' and any number of _its_ synonyms."

L's lips twitched in amusement. His boyfriend was just as much a genius as himself, among which knowledge included being a living thesaurus. He raised the index finger of his other hand -the one Light wasn't holding- to demonstrate his point, "Not synonyms, Light-kun. _Meaning_. Its meaning can also be taken as 'exceptional enough to remark upon'. Why have a word like remarkable at all? If something truly is 'remarkable' why call it so: why not simply- remark upon it?"

He really had to be forgiven as his eyes crossed when L pointed at him, a headache beginning to form. Surely this was a side-effect of L's eternal sugar-high finally fading... right? "What exactly are you getting at?"

"That the word remarkable is pathetically redundant and non-informative in the first place. If something is remarkable -in the secondary meaning as we defined earlier- then there is no point in calling it so. It would be simpler to merely remark upon the thing in question. As an adjective, it does an abysmal job of modifying anything."

Light blinked, "So... you felt the need to wake me up at three in the morning -don't even pretend you don't know how light of a sleeper I am, L- to... remark upon the uselessness of remarkable as a word?"

"Mm."

He pulled his hand back and ran in through his hair again so he wouldn't be tempted to do something else with it- like wrapping it around his boyfriend's throat. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. _One, two, three..._ And then opened them again, significantly calmer, "What even got you thinking about such things?"

L looked away in that unconcerned way of his, "I was thinking of words to describe how you looked as you slept and happened upon remarkable fifty adjectives in. It bothered me."

That warm feeling in Light's chest returned, like the first time that L had told him he was his first friend and the most important person in his life. Light laid back down and grabbed his boyfriend's hand again. "...You still aren't getting any sugar."

L pouted at him but said nothing more. Light really did know his boyfriend's mind remarkably well.


	2. Disagreements

**Been thinking of Death Note all day while Wedding Clothes shopping and couldn't resist writing this when I got back.**

* * *

"Sugar."

"No sugar."

"Sugar."

" _No..._ sugar."

"Sugar."

"No. Sugar. None. Zero. Not allowed. Which of the words are you having trouble with?"

"Light-kun is being unreasonable." L protested.

"Light-kun is saving his boyfriend's life." Light corrected.

"Changes in speech are indicative of a decline in mental faculties."

Light massaged his temple, "If you're asking if you're successfully driving me insane, the answer is yes. If you're hoping you can use that to displace me in an effort to get your sugar fix, the answer is no."

"Light-kun should know better than to underestimate me."

"I'm not underestimating you. You'll thank me for this someday, when we retire and you've still got all your teeth and aren't suffering from diabetes."

"There is an 87.4 percent chance of my driving you to kill one of us before that."

Light stopped rubbing his head to look up in surprise, "Really? That low? I expected it to be at least 97 percent."

Matsuda looked between them where he'd been standing the last five minutes of the argument, "Uh, should I come back later?"

"Yes."

"No."

Light's eyes narrowed, "This isn't over, L." He turned back to Matsuda, "The order stands: he's only allowed artificial sweetener, no sugar."

Matsuda, never one for violence, or even raised voices, attempted to calm the situation, "Um, I know of this really good artificial sweetener that's supposed to be so good you can't even tell the difference. Isn't that amazing?"

Light prevaricated, "It certainly is... remarkable..."

L responded to the unspoken 'no' by burying his elbow in his boyfriend's abdomen. Light responded with his own and they were quickly in an elbow fight that had Matsuda backing away. "Sugar."

"No sugar! Dammit, L, I swear if you keep this up I'm going to chain you to the bed!"

"That is not the deterrent Light-kun seems to think it is."

The brunet dropped his head in his hands, "Goddamned bondage-loving, kinky sugar-addict."

"Then Light-kun surrenders and will allow me sugar?"

"NO SUGAR!"


End file.
